“Beat the beta girl to prove you are better, her family supports the abuse. Beat her worse than the last person who beat her and you win the popular vote. Throw her into lockers, make her bleed at least once a week. Steal her clothes and things from the locker room, throw them in the shower and pee on them.
Chain and whip her in the locker room for asking too many questions in class and making you look stupid for not knowing the answers. Blindfold and chain her up in an old storage shed and whip her to the point of throwing up and almost being unconscious, but don’t let her pass out, she should feel the pain all because she did better than you at something or gained positive attention over you.
Then to make it more memorable, rub silver powder into the wounds making her flesh burn and scar and then drag her to the forest to bleed out and die a slow painful death unless she is worthy enough to survive.” My tears are flowing now, but I manage to look up at them all. Sierra has her hands over her mouth, tears shimmering in her eyes. They all look shocked and at a loss for words.
I’m angry again, but they asked for this, they wanted to know and as much as I was trying to keep this hidden, I can’t seem to stop the word vomit. I can feel my confidence rising as I say each word, like a weight is being lifted from my shoulders. I maintain eye contact with them now.
“The spot you found me tonight, do you want to know why it is my favorite spot, why it smells so much like me?” None of them move, even the forest seems to be holding it’s breath waiting for me to speak. I feel a rush of morbid satisfaction at letting them in on my torture.
“It’s where I survived, where I made the decision to live. I was left, bleeding out from the lashes I received for having the audacity to get in the way of someone else. The silver was added, because the previous whipping I received, I healed too quickly from, the scarring wasn’t gruesome enough. I go to that spot to remind myself that I am still here, I came out of that, without you or anyone else.
My wolf stepped up when I had no one else. She forced me to shift and caused me a little more pain in order to help me heal and live. I was there for two days. No one came looking for me, and I was only a mile or so from the packhouse backyard.
So forgive me when I call bullsh*t on the thought of any of you helping me. You didn’t notice when I was right there in front of you and you didn’t notice when I wasn’t.” Mouths dropped. With all the things about these guys that are great and I am coming to care for, this is their fatal flaw.
They have been sheltered from the actual bad things that happen in a pack. They have never had to deal with real problems, they think they will just magically have people fear and respect them. They believe that they are untouchable, but at what cost?
“You all have been a part of the problem and don’t think for a second you are going to come into school threatening people on my behalf. Even being friends with you and being seen in public regularly with you, the bullying hasn’t stopped, just gotten more creative. I do not need protectors, I have survived everything on my own, just fine.
So don’t even think about it, I am not weak and you will not treat me like I am or make people believe I am. I know how strong I am, I know that every hit I take is one that no one else has to receive. With all your training and status, none of you have ever actually had to fight for your pack members.
Had Sierra not joined us this year and for some reason I still don’t understand, chose to talk to me, none of you would be sitting here now, none of you would have looked twice in my direction. I was forced into your circle, she is the only reason any of you are paying attention to me now, listening to my story. But the problem is, have you even thought about any of the other kids going through what 1 am?
You have pack members who are torturing other pack members without cause or consequence. So before you think about trying to save me or protect me, why don’t you help someone else who actually needs it.”
